Post 5

Bear Witness Daddy! [‘daddy’ shouted by one of my boys]

     This is the continuation of my daily muse journal, which is also my spiritual journal, which I started posting last week with Issue 4, a journal begun in 2001, though for reasons explained in the introduction found in Pages in the sidebar I’ve begun the postings from it starting on August 15, 2014 and will continue posting roughly three days from it until it seems time to leave off for awhile. Since this is dramatic poetry, a dialogue with multiple speakers, and also a narrative of the daily events of my life as they register on the inside of me, like looking at the world from underwater, reading the introduction and beginning at Issue 4 would greatly aid in understanding the text.  

August 23-24 2014

Too many answers. [the 9/11 poem that ended last week’s Issue 4]
An impossibility that we should self-emfabric
The epic poem Savitri,
An impossibility that house,
In the general mind.
Have it come back
Now they have exam
Or me too.
Now watching
God’s search dialogue box.
Get yesterday in today.
And in this claiming Jay, Ethan, everyone overboard.
That tree is not house.
Find it took the dog out. [vision of Lucy laying down on her front paws turning and looking behind her]
Not the most copious thing to say.
You are just going.
You are just thought
“I won’t come daddy.”
We have had a collision,
But we have to find it. [i.e. what the tree is that isn’t house, what makes me thought weak]
Speed in my door in about 30 minutes
Before I get that choice up
Across the ward.
You have half hour away from Kali.
Going to generalize.
“So this is generalizing?”
“Come back in the back please.”
“These Asian immigrants seem positively ruined.” [the poems I’m posting online]
We are, see what we are.
Open the top.
Last time
Take it
No one understood.
Did these youth with lies.
Get in the boat.
You’re sayin’
She know he open airplane?
“Can’t talk to you.”
“What are you showin’ us,
Teachin’ us?”
How about that:
Leave it to Beaver.
Jimmy go in
Be nasty to her
You better know architecture.
Leave it that’s all. [the 9/11 poem, what the collision referred to above is, don’t mail it to as suggested by earlier muse]
You’ve got a lot of goat.
Know myself.
It was that day. [that it’s true nonetheless]
Hey inner,
Get back here.
You got taken,
Taken off.
A bad see –
Turn off a hero’s welcome by the opposition.
He a poet.
“Who tell?”
Bout to make up pauses.
With 1/3 gratitude
Lookin’ right on you.
It’s not far I walk daddy. [vision of Asiya walking through the front door carrying a bright white t-shirt, the kind with a collar]
It’s time.
Children’s room
Asiya went.
What’s the wait number?

15 moments. [symbolically how long it’ll take Asiya to free himself from his obsession with the girl next door]

Here and now
What would make it a lot easier.
I put the issue.
I grow it back.
“Who made this turkey sandwich?”
“Thieves’ story –
He’s the corruption.”
The very next day,
Everybody’s saying:
“Sri Aurobindo
Where a boy obeys his father.
He doesn’t know what to do.
Take them off!
You went your skates.
Interesting things to that boy
If you’ll get around
What you’ll do.
It’s child loyalty
To parent. [this formation about how to handle Asiya and his love obsession]
His hand is hurt.

Will you get serious?

The God beauty
This whole thing.
He seized up a spirituality.
In time
Was basic information.
“How many dead?”
And by the way,
How did you like the YouTube? [the music video For Freedom, asking those entities in Auroville]
“I made it to cry.”
“Somebody relates it
Maybe One.”
“People you do do things

God did it.”

That’s only I’m telling you.
You wanna see people
In 5 minutes.
Did you see that movie,
1, 2, 3, in the morning?
And I’m not kidding.
“That doesn’t interest me.”
“Call out the demonstrators.”
“You’re hair looks beautiful.”
I’m tryin’ to be what people get from their family and mother,
What their world.
What it’s too late time to go to the shop.
You have a bike and you have keys,
And I’m not mean much at all.
Do we have to tell them that boy,
Terrible contract?
Plug it in,
The anticipated.
“What about
College education?”
He’s over there
Reached a security.
You have school tomorrow,
And it’s gonna be downright difficult.
Can you do the naked sound?
“Oh you do so radly.”
Have its hands on its clock,
I need you to get down to the shop.
Pick him up
“Did you go this?”
There was a little bit in the boys,
Among other things.
“Tell you like somebody.”
You’re gonna have me as a part of human.
That your birthday present.
“You see too much.”
That’s it dude written on the wallpaper goin’:
“I bought a software.” [my stuff on the net]
You like it?
I think that was Shakespeare.
Don’t be out at gunned, huh?
It’s actually
A little mannered girl.
What message across?
“What call a pig stone?
Welcome home.”
You would like it
Old and candle it is called.
He didn’t get the first part.
“You’re a cheap shoter.
We know you.”
Come over,
Let’s hang out
And rest.
Come on,
Make the decision. [asking those in Auroville I’m sending letters and poems to, to come to my house]
Came for hours.
If I’m dirt,
And she won’t allow it,
How you cut the crap
The badge say.
The badge?
Look and that’s not your ideal.
You have arrested.
A divine inquisitor
Do that.
Pick us up.
Think about it now.
Now drive the spirit everywhere.
The world’s holding a party.
You want to come?
Do you know who he is,
The party?
Security Ferguson.
“Bye daddy.” [Sandia’s voice]
What’s to stop you?
Already sold and exposed you.
That not fair.
“What?” [his voice. This is an attempt to incite he and I to fight, since I’m in the middle of getting him out of a harmful relationship with that girl]
Yeah next door [sung]
You’re in a wrong place.
Okay we’re good. [vision of this written in a little rectangle like on a traffic crosswalk]
They’re very bad,
His temple.
Your younger history or lost my kid,
Your gang.
A big explosion –
Game is over.
We’ve got a chance sweetheart,
Through the robbery:
“Get off my back porch!” [the girl’s father saying this about Asiya sitting on the far end of the balcony that directly overlooks their front porch]
Max I’m sorry,
You get pulled today I’m sorry.
We’ll be at war.
Far ranging butterfly,
She’s around.
A Message. [title of the above poem, which I put on a background and on the desktop for Asiya]

August 24-25

You’re half flower,
Reading that
To read bullshit
Not its major movement anymore.
Hey what’s up?
That’s a good sign:
“It seems orange now.”
“Come daddy,
I will do.” [Mugu’s voice]
But it’s not just to hang up.
What’s the thing in your life?
What do you do for God’s creation?
Not hung on the hours,
And it will be difficult.
More and more sorted is art
A popular decision.
It doesn’t hang on the masses.
More and more is art alone
On your own ictus of discovery.
“Do you call this a poem?”
Call it worlds away from one.
“He gave us lots to chew on.”
I’m not sure it’s art this week,
Something only when you see it do you know it’s that.
Something art can’t hide from:
Your interests, tastes, and desires.
A fine moving melody a poem
In your convention head.
Such a find collection
That’s given verse.
“Why drop History?”
I am a member.
Your bike yesterday:
“Is he gay?”
“We weep at him.”
I don’t know where the dog put the rose.
You need to go inside.
“Wait daddy.” [Asiya’s voice]
Take change right off the dashboard.
They’ll be surprised
They’ll be reckoned out,
Somebody classless oratory.
Uh huh.
What they told you.
“About the girl that picked you up from Kerala on the bus?”
The pigeon is in time.
We only have 2 months till the end of the week.
Please speak with me,
One mistake,
Why did yah have to wait so long? –
Lookin’ back
Across the river.
The Toilet Seats Are Gone. [poem’s title, which begins with the first line of this formation and ends with the above line]
A moth right here:
Boy that thing
Burns my wings
Like a flag.
“Oh my God,
The pigeon is in time.”
That bathroom can get at that beedi.
We have enough
Smokers now. [additional lines for the poem, what as I hear I know where they go, since they are not one block]
“There’s a lot of difference I can tell.
From out of town.”
“Hear I suppose.”
Been a week.
Hear the story.
“Sounds like a problem,
Reading” she told.
Will you look at this:
I’m not playing.”
Use your stuff,
Use your stuff in there.
Mine starts negative.
Hold this approach.
This one
An admire.
Puttin’ up his heat.
What’s next?
I can’t believe this is happening:
All material.
Push him out the door.
He’s got Nancy Hooks.
Cleaned up about it.
Wire this ended
Ain’t done with it.
Wash it.
A mountaineer,
I’ll show your high hips then Ben.
Face the night if it feet.
He’s finished.
That way only. [vision of the speeding lead car of a small group of cars on a one-lane country forested winding hilly road, both seeing it from outside and being in the car, a small white sedan with a hand-put siren on top flashing, it and suddenly coming upon a cow cart on the road and having to go as slow as it was behind it, the cow cart ringing its bell]
Fact is like he said prepared to die.
Very good don’t eat dinner,
Don’t eat dinner on the way.
Powerful papa,
I’m powerful.
“He got mad at the water –
I’ll give him 200 rupees.”
Y’all are a little bit too young to dance on.
“Where were you weren’t dead?”
He got spotted and ripped off. [about catching Asiya getting out of an atuo-taxi near our shop, having disappeared all evening and afternoon, and he was with the family next door and had lied about it]
You knew what bullhead,
You know exactly where to look. [I reacted and shouted in anger at him, the mother, and the girlfriend]
There was yesterday
At the horn.
­Don’t even play it. [each word said separately. But I played it, not having recorded the daily muse to my PC in time to see the warning, it coming late in the night as it did, and I sent Sandia to talk to the mother to ask her politely not to take him places behind my back, and before Sandia could speak to the woman began shouting at Sandia and called the police, two officers who were friends of hers, complaining that Sandia was coming and shouting obscenities at her front gate, which wasn’t true]
You’re gonna be it
Over there.
How old were you? [the girl is only 13, and Asiya is 19, but her former boyfriend was 21]
Be back sequence of events.
What are you doing?
Explaining to Ferguson
I need his hair cut off.
That good afternoon
You would’ve been stationum. [I’d be taken to the police station, the Tamil um ending]
No it hurts the teenager. [the cops didn’t come up to our apartment but spoke to Asiya at the house next door and warned him about contacting the girl, said they’d beat him up if he tried to do so, told the woman to stop calling Asiya, which she does several times a day to get him to do her errands, something she lied to the police about, Asiya backing her up despite it making him look bad and putting his house in danger so lost he is in the woman’s daugher]
Did you watch the sleep rising? [his obsession with the girl]
Where I hear a kid scared
To grow up.
A lady’s room
A half an hour.
You just sit here.
He will do the lesson.
Phone for him,
I dunno exactly.
Get her phone number.
Her parents hold.
March today,
The 13th.
You’re pretty square.
You’re halfway in there.
Take on a real detonator.
You’re square? [asking the entities in Auroville]
“Whatever you’re wearin’
I don’t care.”
“The bike on top of the bus?”
“He can’t get up there.”
It’s not their range
To tell
What he does.
What they ought to:
Look at pictures.
Not his new models;
That stuff won’t do –
Against the fundamentalist.
Why won’t they hire me?
A window direct on the problem.
“Is that what we’re lookin’ at?”
Don’t see friends.
I’m over there reading poem.
That’s good job.
There’s a lot in a light brown paper now.
I didn’t put my faith in it.
How much time do you have left?
The power was stick.
To read somethin’.
It’s on the movie,
The add remember?
Then nice it,
Send it out friendly. [the new poem to those entities in Auroville]
Hear a poem,
An essay on the north soul.
Your, your drawings
Were with it. [this and above three lines for the poem]
Is it work? [the addition of the word soul to north]
Makes it work.
You’re talking to your girlfriend down there.
I’d put lower case. [the north soul]
You got your name in the paper
All over Auroville.
You’re accompanied by a weapon. [the first letter I sent]
You’re gonna make it.
Suck in,
Do it.
Good, good, good.
“In the uncertain fields of night,
What a difference you’ve made in my life.” [this and above line sung, by Ronnie Milsap, the above line a muse variation of the pop song though still sung by the same singer]
House security manager video update.
One still hand voice,
Count it please. [this and above line for the poem]
God see the ride.
It was not a track good movie. [i.e. it’s not a religious track, a suggestion not to use the above line]
He’s considering at dawn. [to send it now, at dawn]
Racism exists.
It is a problem like never before.
“Never happen here.”
The vest worn
Have you any questions?
You’re readin’ the news.
Treat it like
You go all the way
Making it stop.
You just pay the dues.
Am I not good enough?
“Is he gay?”
Race energy
My name is Beethoven.
Is he actually here?
You dunno.

August 25-26

We’ve got a lot of racists in this country.
We’ve got a lot of racists to bush.
You’re in power,
And that’s in shopping.
Wear wits:
To put the battle in the gun.
“And rape town?”
Don’t translate this in your head.
There’s too many trip wires there
And was Soylent Green
Just a plug-in till tomorrow.
Is there an industrial heart boulevard?
Machine gun
That heart and this heart.
“I order pancakes.”
(The wizard ray
Will find me like this
Hoverin’ around her craft
Awhile a ways from her truth.)
“I didn’t murder the bread.”
(Too strong is it?)
Finger lickin’ good I’ll find my cow
And eat its flesh.
“What would that start a fight with?”
My neighbors.
It’s not a chicken anymore.
“That’s why I don’t talk to you.”
Who knew
A rabbit had a reason to live?
Gobble that down
The masses in the streets.
Both English.
“You were saying about murder?”
“You’re beautiful,
The physics
A seed knowledge
Along the ether.
Who’s the ownership?”
A how do you bend a nation.
I won’t allow it the same cheap-type spirituality
I’m spyin’.
“I get listening to.”
The choices:
Don’t say don’t sin Sabotage,
In Beholder Magazine [but please].
Open your mouth you get in trouble.
World stakes here,
World’s ruin.
Now you run where the eggs are.
Look to Dr. Stone:
The secret of bathing you baby bathing yourself.
Draw something:
I wanna come back
After my mistake.
Crush it stone,
And they do.
It may be that their deep meaning significance
Has more than an evil to handle.
Go for enhance image.
Aware of the waterfront of ideas
He went deep within
And reached his quest.
“Good to see.”
“That’s just stupid.”
Separate person.
The whole
Welcome back…
“What do you want?”
“Oh what are you doing armchair mercenary?”
There was a murder.
What we inspect it.
You’re shooting a deer to eat.
Don’t dare
Put there
The only story on guns.
Don’t shoot,
I’m covering man.
This is the bum policeman who burn after the tag report.
The irony of their unique position.
I wanna show you something:
Lion in humor
Come ‘ere,
Lay back,
Lay down –
I’m sorry,
This whole thing
Have to do with it:
We murder people.
“What’s that nigger
Doin’ on his cigarette?”
There are white fields and there are wrong fields.
Power trip
A policeman has this habit of doing.
It’s exhausting.
It’s got fire
At the dark,
At the dark skin.
Leave it,
That’s just what we throw at the press.
You need to move.
Watch the movie:
“Man that movie was bad.”
They don’t
Have so many guns there.
“I never even saw a gun.”
Put a stop the morning,
And you’re at that go.
Offered lots of our goad.”
If she is where she is sleeping.
Vision of her.
“Quiet hair.”
You can spend the night here.
I was in a heavy forest moon.
Freed the hostages
I’m sorry,
And then it’s going to school.
How deep was it?
This goes all the way.
He will broke a beautiful chain.
“Come Moon Dipper,
Give me this
You’re usin’.”
“Well that ain’t nothin’.
Maybe this hearing,
Wew, that your dance.
I don’t believe it,
Any infinity truth.
Large voice not there.”
But Mr. Atheist,
He came and made himself known to me.
He’s real.
Cross miles
Too late, too early.
Have to guarantee you personally accepts you.
I’ll quote a quote from the people
Who were at the athlete’s meet:
He’s large and small,
Fits into your notebook,
Into all infinity,
Bigger even.
Now he’s in my living room.
That’s a still, tall, voice.
“I gotta root out this superstition.
Push don’t watch the stars please.”
Ah, but this is, uh,
You cannot afford
To miss it.
“Hey Harper,
God, get out of his bed will you?
Get out of the street corner.”
“Whadda we do?”
If you have any smokes don’t put them away.
“I just figured out
You’re racist.”
Is there anyone thick afterwards thin?
It’s in the understanding.
We’re at the root of the problem:
Somethin’s takin’ over the beast.
I’m sure I led you this way –
A seldom God.
On the very ring that God choose.
God train all 64 now.
Fit is the eternal splendor.
“Am I to understand what’s going on?”
It is seldom kingdom.
I’m in the lover forever,
Am the householder is He,
Am not just a caged animal,
And so we’re on course.
He tenured already across the straights.
Travel lightly some.
I ain’t kidding in my room.
Now Ferguson,
You can’t condemn one man
For violating the Law.
You don’t know how barbaric
Has been this flagpole.
Stop and look around:
You’re so wise and rule?
Let this man think.
It’s blood on his hands today.
I stop the accuser.
I would get on it
Something higher than hate,
Something open to God.
Is that a church you understand?
Sitting here integrated.
That’s a blessing for us all.
World will shun TV
When the future has its date.
“That’s a good blanket.”
I can’t reset.
I can only give what vision I’ve had.
That’s the dawn of today.
“What time is it now?”
Lonely place
My poor man’s a century’s worth.
What some slack what we most lack.
Who do I charge resistance to?
“No one’s to see.”
This is how sleep is the movie ghost from the hour.
Want to speak with them.
Wouldn’t allow me to.
“You mean this open book gets closed?”
Put ‘er in red.
The British are coming.
Doin’ time I know
This dawn will have its day.
Earth cannot ignore
Proposed actions,
Proposed signals.
Earth cannot ignore,
But you can read it to the room.
But you can take song and beat it into the works.
Covered. [I wasn’t going to record this and the above line, but my right foot involuntarily tapped on the floor like to music a couple of times, and so I did]

“What does I’d advertize?”

Second or two,
Bigger visions.
Now see it in your head.
[starting with the line of Aug 24-25 ‘Racism exists’, the last lines of that day, the poem What About the Human up in Season? begins, which ends with the above line. The title came separately later and was heard but not recorded, and I didn’t record the poem into my muse journal from my voice recorder as usual, but took it straight to Word as a poem, and so the formations are divided into smaller ‘verses’, what I do when making muse into a poem, and the visions and such were not recorded that came with the lines. This is the final version, and what originally came has been lost, since the poem went through extensive editing, which you’ll see next week]

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